What Is Narcissistic Rage, and What’s the Best Way to Deal with It? (2023)

FAQs

What is the best response to narcissistic rage? ›

It understandably causes an emotional reaction in the victim, which can, however, exacerbate the narcissistic rage. Narcissists thrive on attention, so even when it is conflict, they are getting what they want and feel they have power over you. Therefore, the best way to respond is to remain calm and not react.

Stick to your boundaries, don't engage, and don't try to debate with them. When narcissists are in an angry state of mind, they cannot think clearly and there is no reasoning with them. It's okay to ignore them or walk away to protect yourself if they're becoming rageful or violent.

Examples of narcissistic rage range from intense outbursts and sudden fits of anger, to passive-aggressive acts such as simmering resentment, icy silence, deliberate neglect, or cutting sarcasm.

Basically, the silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior by which an abuser communicates some sort of negative message to the intended victim that only the perpetrator and the victim recognize through nonverbal communication.

The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.

According to researcher Arlin Cuncic, some of the signs of narcissistic rage can include the following: Powerful or explosive angry outbursts. Verbal or physical aggression. Episodes of rage when not given the praise or attention the narcissist thinks they deserve.

A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.

Narcissistic rage can last for a long time. As some of the most self-loathing people on the planet, narcissists have a ton of internalized rage so in a sense, narcissistic rage never ends.

Does narcissistic rage get worse with age? ›

Narcissists do get worse as they get older. With age comes a lack of independence and narcissistic supply. So, aging narcissists tend to become the extreme versions of their worst selves. They don't develop a late-onset self-awareness, they just become more abusive, manipulative, hypersensitive, rageful, and entitled.

Ignoring the vicious narcissist

For vicious narcissists, ignoring their narcissistic rage makes them more inappropriately angry. If their victim is nearby, they will raise their voice. They may begin to throw increasingly toxic and hostile remarks at their victims. They may start to break things or throw things around.

If they give you the silent treatment, don't respond. Don't answer their calls or texts, don't check on them or care for them when they are sick and don't offer them any kind of support. –Walk away from the relationship.

For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.

Impacts of Narcissist Silent Treatment

It is possible to develop mental health conditions, such as an anxiety disorder, depression, or narcissistic abuse syndrome, or even physical health manifestations of this stress exposure, such as frequently getting sick or experiencing chronic health conditions.

Disconnect from the narcissist's emotional energy. Be vague and don't argue back: “That's interesting.” “I understand how you feel.” Sometimes no response is very powerful and will upset them. Insist on calm, respectful tone and words. Leave if they become angry.

What happens to narcissists in the end? ›

At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.

Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.

A trauma bond can be created through emotional abuse, which can include habitually lying, cheating, or calling you 'crazy.” Leaving them for good puts an end to control and manipulation. They'll become miserable to the point of losing their mind once they realize you cut off their narcissistic supply.

People high in narcissism are especially likely to act aggressively when they are provoked, insulted, humiliated, shamed, criticized, or threatened by others. But they need not be provoked to attack.

If there's one thing narcissists hate, it's being told what to do. When you push them into a situation where they have to answer to someone else, it's like their own personal hell. Figure out a way where you can get the narcissist in your life to be underneath an authority figure to really watch them squirm.

The reason youve found yourself the target of narcissistic hatred is that they view love as a weakness and consequently, it repulses them. But, at the same time, it allows them to extract copious amounts of narcissistic supply. This is why they seem to hate you but wont let you go easily.

Chronic abuse can lead to symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), especially in victims who experienced other traumas. The result of narcissistic abuse can also include a pervasive sense of shame, overwhelming feelings of helplessness, and emotional flashbacks.

Do narcissists regret their rage? ›

Narcissists – No Regrets Whatsoever

They may feign remorse or guilt in order to manipulate the people around them, but the reality is that they are incapable of feeling true regret. Their lack of empathy means they do not understand or care about the pain they cause others.

Shrugging off the praise, as if it doesn't matter to them. Attempting to one-up their success. Getting angry and telling you that you should be with that person instead. Discrediting the praise and blaming the person for lying, stealing, or manipulating.

Does ignoring a narcissist work? First of all, narcissists hate being ignored, so ignoring them may be the best form of revenge. But, it should not be your primary motivation. The most essential thing here is to be mature enough to let go of toxic individuals in your life, no matter how difficult it is.

According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8. This is the time when children begin to evaluate themselves according to how they perceive others.

The narcissist often engages in self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours.

According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.

They don't want you to know who you are, what you think, and feel. A narcissist must destroy or come in between you and your perception of self. They have to wiggle themselves in between you. In that space, they don't want you looking within anymore; they want you to focus solely on them.

A tactic that narcissists will often use once they realize that they've lost control over you is self-victimization. When a narcissist victimizes themselves it means that they label themselves as victims and blame their problems on external factors.

Why Is the Silent Treatment Ineffective Against Narcissists? The silent treatment is actually a form of stonewalling, a narcissistic behavior pattern that occurs when a narcissist refuses to participate in the communication and connection of the relationship that they have with someone else.

The yellow rock method is a spin on the gray rock method. It involves adding some niceties to gray rock communication. Its name comes from the idea that a yellow rock appears friendlier, warmer and more inviting than a gray rock.

When a narcissist goes cold? ›

Here, we define “narcissistic coldness” as the narcissistic tendency to feel less happy for successful others and less concern for unsuccessful others. To explain this coldness, theorists have traditionally posited mechanisms that emphasize “dark” or pathological bases.

A narcissistic collapse represents an emotional reaction a narcissist experiences when their fragile self-esteem is threatened. So, any situation in which a person with NPD feels neglected, humiliated, or confronted may lead to a narcissistic collapse, causing them to stop functioning or harm themselves or others.

This means someone living with narcissistic traits may cry from regret or remorse, but not with empathy at its source. They may feel embarrassed, for example, about being criticized for their part in a distressing situation. They may feel sadness or regret that whatever happened paints them in a negative light.

Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”

Medicines. There are no medicines specifically used to treat narcissistic personality disorder. But if you have symptoms of depression, anxiety or other conditions, medicines such as antidepressants or anti-anxiety medicines may be helpful.

The grey rock method is where you deliberately act unresponsive or unengaged so that an abusive person will lose interest in you. Abusive people thrive on emotions and drama. When you act indifferent and don't show your emotions, they may lose interest and stop bothering you. This is known as “grey rocking.”

1 Corinthians 7: 15 tells us that if an unbeliever (this includes a narcissist [you can read my article about whether someone is a believer here]) can't live with you in peace, then let them live without you.

Narcissists love attention, validation, and power. So what drives a narcissist crazy? Simply put, anything that jeopardizes their basic needs for superiority can quickly irritate them. If you want to know how to infuriate a narcissist, you can look no further than giving them nothing.

Does silent treatment work on narcissists? ›

Silent Treatment

This is very effective that makes the loved one distressed. They'll react negatively to not receiving the attention or love they are addicted to getting from the narcissist.

The real reason why simply confronting a narcissist and calling them out for their behavior won't work is simple: they're not actually listening to you. If they truly are a narcissist, they have never been listening, and are especially unlikely to take any criticism or feedback on board.